TULIPS AND CAPYBARAS 7🌷🌷🌷(LADIES AND GENTLEMEN - DOJA CAT)

🎵 Song for the day - PAARO by Aditya Rikhari 🌷🌷🌷

The lyrics and melody both is just so good in this song. My favourite line from this song is-

"जो कहती थी मत पियो ना मेरी जान,

ज़हर है ये, उसे देखता हूँ कोई ग़ैर छुए,

अब और ज़हर क्या पियूँ।" 

Do you even listen to any of these ? If not the lmk, I'll stop.

Today I woke up with morning sickness, I don't feel energy in my body, still feverish, oily hair, swollen eyes, and body pain, at times like this I just want a tight hug, tight enough for me to stop feeling the body pain. 

I really wanna eat something tasty, yk my favourite flavour is tangy and soupy, and rn I just wanna have something like that, I really miss the panipuri wale bhaiya next to my college, what he sells is the exactly what I need in panipuri, the village style potato filling, made fresh right infront of my eyes, freshly cut onions, and tangy water in it, also crunchy puris, absolutely fantastic.

Next I wanna eat soft idlis with tangy rasam, I love south Indian food soo much that I cannot tell you, it feels like home to me, and I can say that I like it more than North Indian food, it's so effortlessly tasty, simple yet so delicious.

If I close my eyes after first bite, and melt into my chair, that's when you know that Im loving the food, I also love if someone feeds me, that's my love language, I remember I always used to make my cousin brother feed me during summer vacations, when I was young, we were always fighting and against each other, me and bade bhaiya were team and chhote bhaiya was our anti, bade bhaiya is always gentle to me, he named me too, he is the kindest man I've known in my life, but chhote bhaiya is no bs type, but he always fed me, and he used to irritate me too while doing that, but it was fun. 

Then I had an ex bff, in school, we lost it all after 10 years of friendship, but she always used to feed me, she was always so sweet to me, I still miss her, but I hate how everything ended. 

The hardest decision in life is to leave someone, and specially if they did wrong to you, you will always think that why it happened, why they did it, and how beautifully it started, that's why I always think that one should try their best to save the relationships, but on other hand I think people should also choose themselves, I wasn't like this, picking myself and all, but I never had to choose, no one wronged me, so I think that's my biggest lesson of adulthood. Yk I had such a beautiful, sheltered childhood that I never thought people can be so schematic with all there steps, idk if it's good or not but I'm very flat minded, like my mind is equals to what I speak, for a very long time I used to think that - IF I'M NOT DOING WRONG TO SOMEONE, NO ONE ELSE WOULD DO IT TO ME - And ngl I still believe in it, yesterday you told me you can brainwash me, and then a friend and he told me, raat ko, that I'm easy to manipulate, even my father and my brother says the same this, wtf, am I dumb ?

A sexy horse in between to
keep you mind stimulated!

I think used I'm the smartest in the room, phir ek din I was talking to this school friend, and he told me some crazy, I mean CRAZY LORES about a lot of people, I mean it was all just teenage stuff, like who kissed who and blah blah, but nobody told me any of that 😭, and in that lore a lot of people were there who were like so fucking close to me, like benchmates, but they never shared it, and yk I wasn't like this irritating kid who will complain, huh traitors. I can see how none of those relationships survived.

I tried my best to save my friendship with her, 10 years is not a small time, it's basically half of my life, I grew up with her, but I decided to pick myself when it started hurting me, when I saw that she is being selfish and picking herself, I did not fight, in last call she said then she hanged up on me, how can I betray myself after than and go back to her? I should also choose myself na. I hate people hanging up call on me, you cannot do it, and that is one of those things that makes so so angry, but worst part about me is that when I get extremely angry, I don't understand how to regulate my emotions, so I just start crying and blaming it all on myself, ik I shouldn't do that.

Mind always hate the change, specially if emotions are involved, but I think - Alot goes wrong before things start going right, You are allowed to out grow your own opinions, your own habits, your own story. 

Wtf with all this free ki advice, I have to be nonchalant, abhi mera jyada ho rha hai na, ab nhi bolungi ye sab, strict control on it, no more gyan.

Abhi kya bolu kya bolu, koi bhi faltu cheez nhi sujh rhi hai, mmmmm.....haaaa bahut din ho gye hai koi gift nhi mila yrr, last I got it on my birthday, ohh speaking of gifts, I remember I wanna buy jhumke, it's been so long since I haven't brought new jhumka for myself, this time I wanna get some bigger ones, full on maximalist aura farming. Oh I love jewelleries, I don't like minimalistic small jewelleries, I like to go beyond with it, rn I have 40+ earings, I have to buy bracelet, neck pieces and rings, lemme just have money I'll show y'all what maximalism is. Will go to katra after exams and will buy atleast 3-4 pairs 😤.

Veinte uno dolares, por favor.

Speaking of jewelleries, my brother went out for shopping, few months back, and he remembered I told him that I want that star necklace which was trending and some braslets, and this guy literally send me pictures from all the shops, and made me select whatever I wanted, in all that chaos, he got me the star necklace and other stuff too, whenever he goes out for book shopping he always sends me pictures of fictional books, and asks me which one I want, and mind you he don't stop with 1-2 pictures, he goes on hours, finding books for me, even when he has to buy only one, he buys 8-10 other books for me, then take it to the hostel in public transport, and then bring it for me, my sweet little baby boy, how can I forget it, ever in my life, this is the kind of efforts I see men doing around me, I ain't settling for bare minimum. 

This is such a slow year, I'm so unproductive rn, last year I read 120+ books, this year till know I only completed 35 books and 11k pages, that is so pathetic for me, I'll go beast mode from 10th September, I have 7 unread books in my shelf rn, and I'm thinking of finishing atleast 5 in September, because two of them are quite chunky, 

1. A suitable boy by Vikram Seth - 1475 pages 

2. War and peace by leo Tolstoy - 1000 pages

Mental stimulation 

Either I'll finish the chunky ones, or I'll go for the smaller once, and Ig there will be atleast one or two book fairs in October, so imma buy new books then, and I'll have new shelf, oh my god I'm so so excited for it, I'll have more books. YaY!

I just don't feel like writing anymore today, according to my health, I've written a lot, oh ha, yesterday my friend grp made a bet me something, don't wanna say it here, but all those fuckers were against me, and I was on the other side, vaise it does seems like I'm going to loose it anyways, if that happens, I'm gonna loose a lot of money, should I start crowd funding or something? 

Weather these days are soo good, it's LET'S GO OUT KINDA weather, perfect, I'm thinking of making momo, not today, but this week, yesterday I had icecream, after so long, imagine something is your favourite and you legit stopped eating it, a lot of arguments behind it, will tell you phir kabhi.

Oh also I brought new eyes shadows, do I know how to use it ? Hell no, but Imma learn it, Do I have brushes ? Hell no, but I'll buy it, I like eyeshadows, all those colourful ones, I like colours in general, colourful clothes too, I never liked wearing all black, I don't think it suits me, but since past 4 months I've started buying black stuff, I'm exploring grundgy aesthetic, turning into wannabe edgy girl, oh sorry back to eye shadow pallet, I'm so disoriented, yea so I got the one with some shimmery and neutral tones, if I get better in this, imma buy the one with vibrant colors.

Vibrant colours reminds me of vibrator.....hmmmmm.....shut up, believe me it's not me, it's just Doja Cat, I like her tho.

Ladies and gentlemen -
Doja Cat 

Ho gya ab nhi, abhi finally ending it, it's becoming too much efforts for me, also there's something in my mind rn, some other stuff, I'm not able to think straight, and also no outro songs for today, I don't feel like listening anything.

Btw do you know you can comment too, I mean in case you forgot, if you have anything in your mind while reading it all, type it here.

Okay changed my mind, thanks to my playlist, here's the outro song - BAN JA TU MERI RANI by GURU RANDHAWA from Tumhari Sulu. This version is going to be in my slow sex playlist. That's my Praise kink speaking, I'm intoxicated, I'm out. 

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Until I write again,

Till then byeee

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- written by - little Roger