TULIPS AND CAPYBARAS 6 🌷🌷🌷 (PATIENCE)

🎵play - CAN'T TAKE MY EYES OF YOU by FRANKIE VALLI 🌷

My favourite, tulips.

I ordered new sports shoes,

basic, nothing interesting, pink colour, it's been 3-4 years since I brought a sports shoes, I think that's enough for you to understand the death of sports women in me (did you noticed the micro feminism?), I cannot believe there was a time I was captain of u-14 and u-19 teams, I was the one who revived basketball in my school, created the team and took them to regionals, I was in class 8th only, so ambitious, definitely more than what I'm rn. 

I wanted to play football but wasn't able to do so, phir I decided to go with basketball, now I'm not gonna tell you whole story, that's for another day, maybe if we meet again and sit on some ghat seeing sunset while discussing life. Sunsets are pretty, specially if it's near a water body, but I like sunrise over sunset, idk when was the last time I saw sunrise, I want to wake up early, leave home, see sunrise in mankameshwar, then pray to god, and kiss.

A guy friend of mine told me that it's prettiest things you can experience with someone you love, he saw it with the girl he loved, what I do is I climb on the 3rd floor terrace at 5 am, and sit there, and see sunrise, it motivates me so much.

Wake up Sid (never say never)

So yeah I finally brought sports shoes, I wanna re-start, I don't know how long I can keep it up, but yes, I wanna do it again, in my prime I used to play handball, basketball, badminton and table tennis, tho I wasn't very good at badminton, handball was easy for me, cause it is very similar to basketball, I was a good defender, I won't two bronze medals in table tennis at school, but in basketball I was best, my layup shot was so accurate, I was fast and had good hold on the ball, I have only one picture when I was playing inter house competition, that too in skirt, I look funny in it, but I used to get injured soo much I cannot even explain, during my last camp my ankles were swollen, I wasn't able to walk properly, but yk what I did, I sprayed a lot of volini, then two ankle pads in both the feets, socks and then tied my shoes tight enough so that my feet get numb, I was moving totally on adrenaline rush and will power, and I played four matches in that situation, we got third position, then I played nationals selection round, and I got the position in team, my parents watched that selection, sitting outside of the court, what happened after that is for sunset day out.

Let bygones, be bygones, nostalgia is sweet, but it shouldn't hurt your present, if you keep living in the glory of old days you'll never grow up, always focus on what you are in current situation, you can compare yourself to that glory, that will always help you to grow, my personal view is that anyone who is coming in between me and my personal growth, I will always distance myself from them, then no matter how close I'm to them, anyone who loves me would always want me to grow, to be safe, to be healthy, to be best version of myself, that's the best way to check if someone loves you are not, I've noticed it in all the healthy relationships I've seen around me, and that's my standard for any relationship, not only for life partner. But that's my perspective, you do you. 

But I also know what if I'm in love and ik the other person is fully devoted to me, then I'll do my best to make them the winner, I'm like that, not praising myself, just telling about my thought process, If I expect devotion then I also believe in reciprocating it.

Better days, 2019
"You are the first person to ask, if it hurts"

 

Apart from all that, yesterday I put some sad story, it wasn't anything concerning but a lot of my friends asked me if I'm fine, and that made me so happy, I love how people care, they don't just scroll, this is the best part of my generation, we care, tho we always get termed as moody kids, but we care, if we connect we connect whole heartedly, if we don't then we don't, no in betweens, and yk they didn't ask me just because they saw something out of norm on my stories, they did it cause even I ask them, many ignored but a bunch of them did not, and that's what you get when you care about others, universe always reciprocate your energy, that's why I don't believe in holding grudges, I ain't any saint, even I get angry, but Ik holding grudges won't help. 

I'm glad I'm surrounded by people like that, freinds are basic needs, they are the people who can instantly change your mood, what is the life without friends? Ik things won't be same hamesha, but jab tak bhi ho, perfomative na ho. Definitely you partner is closest to you, that person should be the priority, one should always pick them first but there shouldn't be a situation where you are asked to pick someone, no ME OR THEM, everyone has there own place, and that's how adulthood is. 

I finally decided that I'm not going to wear lehenga, for the upcoming function, I don't have any motivation for lehenga, I will wear an anarkali, probably golden, shimmery shimmery, with pink dewy makeup, imagine planing so much and then you don't go 🫢.

Should I chop big chunk of my hair ? I know I'm gonna regret it, but idk, I'm confused, lmk. 

Oh also I finally made up my mind, no more randirona, only jadu tona - किस्मत मे लिखा होगा तो मिल जाएगा, नहीं लिखा होगा तो मैं लिखवा लूंगी (as if I can, huh). But yea on serious note. No more overthinking. Ab I will only manifest sex in 2026. 11:11 wish 🤭, especially to all my girlepops, always manifest good sex, and make sure to match you undies with bra, you never know when you'll meet someone with dad bod, ughhhh me and my yearning for older men with unshaved chest, that turns me on so much, focus focus Anshikaaaaaa. Mereko lgta hai mujhe baal sudhar grih chale jana chahiye.

Whenever I have this down phase in my life, I always go to spirituality last time when I was sad I went to Hanuman ji, and yk this time there is this famous Bhajan, from this movie Hanuman Ansh, goes like - मैने तेरे ही भरोसे हनुमान......

Basically hanuman ji being guardian angel.

(Apko pta hai, aap kabhi nhi samjh paoge ki next word mere muh se kya niklega, ek moment pe mai hawasi darinda hu aur dusre pe jai bajarangbali)

Had another nightmare last night, I hate it so much. I wanna sleep comfortably. 

The amount of time I have to take susu breaks, ughh all this water should better make my skin glowy, just a month or two, and I'm going to have best skin, yk I wanna loose weight but I don't wanna loose my cheeks.

हो गया मेरा आज का, थक गई, लिखना पसंद है पर बोलने से ज़्यादा नहीं, मेरा बोलना ही बंद करवा देते है सब, जब एकदम से बोलना बंद करूंगी ना, तब देखना, कितना मिस करोगे तुम सब मेरेको. और अचानक से ही रुकूंगी, बताऊँगी भी नहीं l

कुछ पढ़ा था मैने, बहुत अच्छा लगा था पढ़के, something that I believe in, totally :- 

"मैं जब भी माँगूँगी, तुमसे तुम्हारा वक़्त माँगूँगी,

कब, कहाँ, कैसे हो इसका ज़िक्र माँगूँगी,

वक़्त-बेवक़्त कॉल करने का हक़ माँगूँगी,

बिन बात के मेरे लड़ने पर तुम्हारा सब्र माँगूँगी,

अलसायी-सोयी सी तुम्हारी तस्वीर माँगूँगी,

मैं जब भी माँगूँगी

तुम्हें-तुमसे थोड़ा और माँगूँगी.."

Patience 

Patience 

Everything is going to be fine!

Outro Song for you :- Click crow UNCILL 🫡

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Until I write again,

Till then 

Byeee 

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- written by - फूल 🌷