MY SUICIDE NOTE (I'm still alive)

I've been always confused about the content of my suicide letter, that what will be the things I'd like to put in it, so according to my analysis of suicide letters, for which I read not even a single letter, I think I'm more confused now, well I started wondering about it when I was 14, and you might think - OH is there any specific reason my little lady ? , NO there's nothing specific, it's just my trying to act like a edgy teenager who thinks dying is cool, cause she cannot see her own privileges, and why I still think about it ? Well cause now that I'm 22, I still did not grew up, I have same personality as 14 year old me, also I'm another performative female trying to act like fleabag cause that show is my whole personality.

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Ughhhhh..... writing after months is a tedious task, YEAH so getting back on the point, so I'm a sucker of meta narratives, I like to explain things in a way that will definitely confuse you and bore the shit out of you, now imagine me writing a suicide note, if I start from the very beginning, ONCE UPON A TIME.....I WAS A PURE TEENAGER......nahhh that's gonna take more than ten A4 sheets, cause I'm a petty fucker who remember every moment anybody fumbled me, and lastly who's gonna read that all ? Fuckers have small attention spans these days, imagine writing a letter before dying and then they put it in on CHAT GPT to summarise it.

Also the problem with me is that I easily get distracted, I might start with the most heart wrenching incident and then suddenly I start talking about Bigbang, not the theory but the band. But YOU CAN ALSO WRITE A SMALL LETTER - NO I cannot, I told you I'm a petty motherfucker, if I decide to die, I want my last act to be vicious enough for everyone to throw up for days, also a small ambiguous letter will lead to a lot of Random assumptions, I'm actually not scared of being called a whore, that's a compliment, but I'm scared of being called a PADHAI K PRESSURE ME CHHATRA NE KI KHUDKHUSHI - bro that will be so fucking embarrassing, like imagine people reading it and then asking each other like what was she studying and someone says LITERATURE - ughhhh my soul will die second time after that.

Also what if I write a small one liner and then there's a curious little munchkin like me reading the Hindi दैनिक जागरण and God confused cause there's not much given about the death, if I'm dying, let me just satisfy everyone.

So basically I'm back to complete this blog after months, cause I ain't got time to think about my suicide letter, cause everybody needs something when I'm trying to contemplate my life decision, and atp I got no reason to die, so I cannot think of something cool to write here, but I still wanna post it, so I'm trying bring it to end, I'm still unemployed, virgin and frustrated, lately I've been a jerk too, mmmm.... whatever the is the feminine of it, those things are quite interesting but I think that deserves a place in my autobiography, but looking at my consistency to post here y'all might think - YES GRANDMA GOT THE JOB, SO THAT'S HOW SHE BUILT ALL THAT EMPIRE - but then I'll come out of nowhere in 4 months and post something more retard to make you belive that I'm still jobless brown girl, and about that Empire, we gonna talk in different post if I won't die of food poisoning. Till then SLAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY💅🏻

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If you still reading, I recommend you to sniff whitener, drugs are better than these words, it's cheap too.

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Byeeeee 🦭

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Written by BING BANB BOO !!