GAINED +10000 AURA POINTS INFRONT OF EKART WALE BHAIYA

Now I have a lot to say, because I suffered a lot in the past few days, so I'm going to write, YAAAAAAYYYYYY......okay let's go, let me tell you a few things that happened recently.

So today my professor asked about the title of the drama I wrote, for which I got the prize, and my dead-ass brain forgot it, and it's obvious, the title is beyond my difficulty level. So for your information, the title is THE LAST TRAIN HOME, and then the teacher looked into my eyes and said, “Did you really write it or copy it?” I gave an embarrassing smile, I was like, bitch, call me anything but not a cheater, haven’t even cheated in an exam in the past five years, let alone a competition. And I replied, “NOOO SIR...” so yeah, the whole thing was awkward.

This to keep your mind stimulated

Two days ago, I bought LAHORI JEERA, which cost me 20 rupees, and I really wanted to try it after hearing so much about it, so I bought it, and it tasted sooo bad. Let me tell you how it really tasted—it was like the hajmola tea my mother makes, which she learned from her friend. Believe me, I wanted to kill that aunty after one sip. So yeah, basically hajmola tea but cold and filled with fizz. Let me know if y’all need the recipe for the tea, I’ll drop that too, but you have to promise that you are not going to block me after a sip. But if I compare the tea and the drink, I would say the drink was better than the tea. So I bought it while returning home from college, and it was 3 O’CLOCK NOON, in the North Indian summer. Everything was burning—from my heart, to my ass, to the ground under my feet—and my 60 IQ mind thought, let’s just take a picture of it so that I can post the review on my Instagram with 14 followers, who definitely do not care about the review. So yeah, while taking a picture in the middle of the road with no traces of living beings around me, I sprained my ankle, and it was fucking painful. I wanted to scream bloody murder but I gulped my pain and acted like nothing happened because I didn’t want to lose my aura in front of that EKART DELIVERY BOY, who turned around twice while riding a motorcycle. So yeah, aura points +100000000, claps for meee.

Apart from this, my finals started on the second day of my period , when the above tragedy took place, and believe me, it was worse than tasting white sauce pasta.

So tasting white sauce pasta is one of the very significant moments of my life, after taking birth and almost getting thrown onto the middle of a traffic-filled road by my friend from a scooty. Speaking of significant moments, I think I should write a whole-ass paragraph about some significant moments in my life. So yeah, back to the point—so basically I went out with my friend to this cool cafe for her birthday, and it was my 3rd time sitting in a nice place in 22 years of my life (this reminds me that I have to update something, I literally sometimes think that my brain is the size of a matar ka dana) so I was all excited and hyped up like, yayyyy FFFFOOODDDDD, and then as usual, I ordered everything, and I asked my friends if they were okay with white sauce pasta, and they were okay, as usual, because they got no option, cause either I eat something extremely ridiculous or dosa hehe, ahem......so yeah it came and it was my opportunity to try something without wasting my money and pool of guilt, so yeah it came, and I literally have a video of me tasting it. It was bland as hell, I mean my garam masala taste buds flared up. I'm sorry MELONI JI, but I know I'm a classless garib Hindustani, so I don’t feel fulfilled until my food is filled with spices. Basically, it was not for my taste buds, and it became a task for me and my classless garib Hindustani friends to finish it. I literally put oregano, chili flakes and sauce to enhance the taste. Honestly, all of this reminds me of the scene from QUEEN movie, where Rani tries pasta for the first time and advises the owner to put some spices and he starts lashing out at her. That scene was hilarious but seeing this happen in real life was hurtful for me.

You know what, I really want to write more, but I definitely do not remember more things that I can share with you all, and the things I remember are either not worthy of telling or just too crazy to be public. I mean, something needs to be on the WhatsApp group only. But yeah, this reminds me of my teacher's message today on the class group. So we have exams going on, and today’s exam was kinda scary because there were no notes online, and thanks to our meme-filled rusted brains, and dead-ass English thanks to the American impact and social media, we are not creative enough to write long essay-type answers in formal English. And this dude literally said that 4–5 pages will be enough, like dude, I don’t even have 5 pages of notes on that topic, how can we... but you know, for sigma storytellers like me and my friends, we did it. We basically finished it somehow with the required number of pages, SOMEHOW... I wrote everything except what was required and asked, and I’m definitely preparing for a proper mental breakdown in the next 5–6 months. But you know what’s funny... well, my result of the first semester. At this point in my life, I think after my parents, even literature has given up on me, and I have given up on my life. Believe me, if I can do school, graduation, and PG without getting failed, anyone can. And if I can get a job and get my work done—basically hold up on work—then I think even a dog can be a software engineer.

Apart from all of this, life was pretty eventful in the past 15–20 days, with a lot of headache, encounters with relatives, new people, places, food, etc.

And I’m done with writing, because if I keep writing, I’m definitely going to vomit something that I shouldn’t, and then that will make me paranoid. I’m already done with this slipping of the tongue. Freud must be rolling in his grave seeing me exist.

Okaaaaay bye bye

Have a nice day

SAYONARA

GOOD NIGHT

GOOD MORNING

SHABBA KHAIR

JAI BAJRANG

Dhichik Dhichik 

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You are still reading it? Get over it bro, go and touch some grass.

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Thank you so much for reading it till now !!!

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- written by :- anshika don