🕴️🕴️🕴️ FOLLICULAR PHASE POST 🕴️🕴️🕴️

One thing I just know about myself is that I love acting like I know everything, but in reality, I don’t—and that’s my shield. I mean, yes, I’m a narcissistic bitch, but the mask of the SMARTEST person in the room is so cool, at least in my head.

Today I’m happy, even though my friend and I went to this photogenic place in my university, got really good pictures, and in most of them, I looked like a pig—dressed up in the most vibrant clothes. I mean, I literally felt today that I need to stop eating, but still, I feel nice. Like why? Why am I not having a mental breakdown? Maybe it’s because—what do we call it…? Lemme Google it… yeah, FOLLICULAR PHASE—which basically means when your estrogen is high… I mean, how funny is that? I’m calm because I’m acting like a woman… I’m laughing so bad right now. I knew the testosterone was the problem.

I dont know what to write. Should I give y’all an update about life? I mean, it sucks, but a little less. But not really. Ughhh. What else, what else… yeah, right now, I’m suffering from dandruff and balding problems. So yeah, KARMA finally found me, guys. Calling my previous professors BALD HEADS was not a good decision.

Lately, I thought of writing one more letter to the SPERMS I MISSED TO SWALLOW—obviously in the future—but then I gave up. I mean, the amount of value I give to others' opinions at this age is definitely going to affect my genes. My kids and grandkids are going to be a NIGHTMARE. But if y’all went into some crazy rabbit hole of this blog and are reading it right now, imma give you guys some warnings:

1. DON’T YOU DARE DISRESPECT ME. I KNOW BLACK MAGIC 🪄✨ akflgjssjeifowpwdkfjvj (crap)

2. DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE YOUR KIDS AT MY PLACE. I’m not your fucking daycare nanny. Y’all better pay me to do that. I’m gonna curse your whole future ancestry (and those last two words are intentional—if you guys don’t understand it, get lost).

3. It’s ALWAYS going to be BTS and SEVENTEEN before you, and I MEAN IT. Ik ik that gave y'all childhood trauma but TALK TO MY HAND ✋✋(that important for your humour development believe me)

So yeahhhhh, those were a few things I wanted to say. But you know what I’m forgetting now? I forgot to get a photocopy of my fee receipt to get my ID CARD. Now, don’t go searching on Google or whatever shit y’all have in 2070. I know I’m ancient. But one thing—if you guys find this after my death, and there’s some serum that can bring the dead back, DIG ME UP. Just DIG ME UP. I know I’m not burned. I’m smart. Just DIG ME UP. Get a bottle for DADI, and I’m gonna reverse all the spells.

"I can melt and igloo cause Im so dang, yeah yeah"

∆ Editing ANSHIKA

(One tea later.....)

What the fuck is that… like fr, anyone reading these lines can get me admitted to some mental asylum, and if you are reading this as an audience or maybe as a psycho therapist.....sigh.....SIGH in capital.....GET HELP, DON'T BE ASHAMED, ITS NOT YOUR FAULT THAT YOU ARE BORN LIKE THIS. I mean, one thing I’m sure of is that my digital footprint is going to get me into some sort of trouble in the near future. How can someone write almost 32 lines of crap, that too with full enthusiasm? 

I’m sorry, I was not high. It’s just my quarter-life CRISIS and EXISTENTIALISM pushing me to do weird stuff for validation.

But I would appreciate it if y’all set me up for a date with a cutie.

Cutie COUPS for apology.....

Byeeeeeee

And sorry....

😊🥺

Thank you so much for reading it till now......

Written by SUPERHEROIN 🌱🌿