HEHEHE 🥱

 Ok tell me does maturity means liking the stuff you used to hate when you were young, or when you were a teenager?

These days I'm just noticing that I started like alot of stuff that I used to hate few years back, well I'm not talking about the fashion or make-up trend, cause now a days fashion changes more than my moods, hehehe. (Lame joke alert)

When I was kid I used to hate rain, like for real I used to curse God to rain, cause I'm a type of kind who wants to go school even on Sundays, and now I pray every fucking day to have a gloomy weather, dark sky, and sometimes even on winters, which is really scary, cause my body responds very badly to sudden weather change.

Secondly I'm liking yellow colour alot, believe me I was a biggest hater of red and yellow, and now only yellow feels like ray of hope, and idk why but whenever I see some peaceful bright colour (specially in clothes), I feel this sudden dopamine rush in all over my body, I automatically start smiling and I feel so so happy, and this summer I read a book called "life is what you make it" by Preeti Shenoy and the main character - Ankita, suddenly started like colours and art before she was diagnosed with sever bipolar 🙂. 

(Please excuse that emoji, I just can't explain my sarcasm through words)

Other things I started like is tied hairs, sometimes I feel it's because this is the phase where I'm turning from a girl to a women, and now I'm opting for more practical things instead of trendy stuff, or it's just that I loosed interest in myself and my life.

From this I just remembered that it's been more than two years since I had a really hard crush on anyone, Don't you think that's crrrrazy, cause the so called sexual hormones are totally fine, I'm not turning into an asexual person and neither I'm going to get pass of LGBTQ+ community (atleast for now), then why the fuck I'm not having this urge to have a fucking crush on anyone, and guess what my online freind who is sitting thousand kilometres away from me, we talk very occasionally (that's our relationship for now) is feeling the same, and apparently we are facing the same situation.

And when I analysed my surrounding, which means my my social life which includes people who are less than the fingers I have in my hands, are also not dating anyone, I mean most of my female freinds are single and not because they want to be, it's just trust issues, sometimes they don't believe themselves and sometimes they don't believe the people infront of them, and in my case the problem is that nobody is approaching me, GUYS IF YOU ARE READING THIS PLEASE FUCKING APPROACH ME !!!!

Woahhhhhh, all I think that what will my grand kids think while reading this - "grandma wasn't even able to hookup in 21st century" , like bruhhhhhhhhh imma start crying if they'll say something like this to me, this is soo rude. 

Kids if you got access of this unfortunate day and you are reading this, don't you dare to say anything rude like that even as a joke cause if you'll do that I'm gonna donate my whole money, which you handsome grandpa left to a FUCKING trust !!!

Everytime I think that I'm gonna write something knowledgeable and cool this time on the blog to save precious five minutes of my 10 permanent reader's, but I everytime I just end up writing most unwanted and irrelevant stuff.

*Huge sigh in boxers*

(And again I didn't do grammatical corrections cause I don't care cause English is not my first language and I'm going to ignore it same as my parents ignored my beauty since the day I was born.)

- thank you so much for reading this !!!

Bye bye 🫂